


Living a Life Without You

by RyuukoIzawa



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-21 20:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11364828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyuukoIzawa/pseuds/RyuukoIzawa
Summary: Kotetsu had prepared for the worst case scenario. Anyone does so if they want to inform their child about a second marriage. But what happened was most certainly not what he was expecting. He would forever regret his actions that day.Kaede knew that she had flared up and said something she shouldn't have. Something she didn't even mean. There were a number of things that led to this situation. But till her last breath, Kaede would believe that her words were the trigger.But the thing about regrets is that they will stay with you for life. You cannot go back in time and undo them. All you can hope to do is continue living with the pain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Tiger & Bunny fanfiction as well as my first work on AO3. I also post my works on tumblr under the same username and will, mostly, post it there first so feel free to check it out on my blog.  
> I hope that you guys enjoy my story!

‘I’m in a relationship with Bunny.’  
All was quite for what seemed like an eternity. Kotetsu T. Kaburagi swallowed nervously as he waited for his daughter to respond. She stirred the drink in front of her, refusing to look at her father who was sitting right across the table. After some time, she finally opened her mouth.   
‘As in just dating or a serious relationship?’  
‘It's… It’s a serious relationship. We’re dating with marriage in mind.’  
Kotetsu gulped as a second blanket of silence enveloped the two.   
‘Kaede?’, he asked, cautiously.   
He saw her lips moving but her voice was soft. Kotetsu stained his ears to hear her. Fortunately for him, that was something he was used to by talking with Saito.   
‘… What about mom?’  
He sighed and closed his eyes. He knew that it would come to this. Kaede was a smart and open minded girl. He knew that she would not have a problem with the fact that her father was dating a man. But he was worried that Kaede might think that he no longer loved his late wife. And his worries turned out to be true.  
‘Kaede, just because I’m dating someone else doesn’t mean that I don’t love your mother!’  
‘Then does that mean that you don’t love Barnaby?’  
‘Of course not! I love them both equally! Your mother was an irreplaceable person in my life!’  
He looked at Kaede. Her eyes were downcast. Kotetsu’s heart squeezed seeing her sadness.   
‘… I don’t get it… I just don’t get it! How can you love two people at the same time?! You can either love mom or love Barnaby! Aren’t you saying that you can’t give your heart completely to either one?! Isn’t it unfair to them both?!’ Kaede’s voice gradually rose in volume until she was screaming. The other customers at the café they were in all turned to look at them.   
Kaede breathed deeply and looked at her father. He looked right back at her. His expression was one Kaede had never seen before. His eyes were hard and seemed to have paralysed her. She stared at him but could not read his expression. A small shiver ran through Kaede as she realised that she was scared.   
She took a deep breath and gathered all her willpower to utter a few more words. She regretted ever saying them. If she had kept her mouth closed, there might have been a chance for things to improve. They could have talked it through. It could have been alright. But she didn’t stay quiet. She spoke.   
Those words were what changed their lives forever.   
‘Neither of them deserve such half-assed love.’  
What happened next was almost instantaneous. It brought a strange silence to the store. Everyone looked at the two as Kaede tried to register what had just happened.   
Like a whip, her father’s hand had shot out and, within the span of the blink of an eye, had contacted painfully with her cheek. She tenderly placed her own hand on her now red cheek, wincing slightly in pain.   
‘… You hit me…’  
Her voice trembled as she uttered the words. Her father, who she always argued with and who was hardly ever around but who doted on her and loved her more than life itself and who would never let any harm come to her, had hit her. She felt tears stinging her eyes. She looked at Kotetsu but his eyes were still hard and, now, Kaede could even see anger burning in his amber orbs. It was the first time she saw those eyes, those kind and gentle eyes, hold such an expression. Especially when being directed at her.   
‘Do not…’, he finally started speaking, stopped, took a breath, and started again, ‘Do not, ever, make light of my feelings towards your mother or towards Barnaby.’  
His voice was level, calm, but held a dangerous and threatening edge Kaede was unfamiliar with. She trembled in fear.   
‘… I’m leaving’, she said softly.   
She then got up, turned around and left. Kotetsu didn’t stop her.   
~*~*~  
‘Kotetsu-san, how did it go?’, Barnaby Brooks Jr. asked him, handing him a champagne flute. The two were drinking at his place.   
Kotetsu took the glass from him, giving him a small smile. ‘I… don’t really feel like talking about it…’  
‘That bad, huh?’  
‘… I slapped her…’  
‘What?! Why?!’  
‘… I don’t want to get into the details…’  
The blonde nodded. ‘I understand’, said he, ‘Tell me whenever you feel like it then.’  
Kotetsu smiled appreciatively.   
‘Thanks.’  
Barnaby sat next to Kotetsu and leaned onto the older man. He placed his head on the Asian’s shoulder and took his free hand in his own and began to gently rub circles on the back of the calloused hand.   
Kotetsu placed his glass down and reached over to hug his partner turned lover. He placed a soft kiss on his forehead eliciting a soft giggle from the blonde. He, too, placed his own glass down and turned to face the darker skinned man fully. He let go of Kotetsu’s hand and proceeded to put them around his neck, pulling their faces increasingly closer until the gap between them was finally closed with the touch of their lips.   
They both opened their mouths and allowed their tongues to play with each other’s, fighting for dominance. This time around, Barnaby decided that he would let Kotetsu have his way and relented. Kotetsu shoved his tongue into Barnaby’s mouth as the latter let out a sweet and pleasured moan.   
A few seconds later, the two separated. A thin string of saliva still connected the two as they panted to bring their breathing under control.   
‘Should we move to the bed?’, Kotetsu asked.   
Barnaby smiled at him dazedly and replied, ‘Yeah. Let’s.’  
~*~*~  
The next morning found the two in bed, naked and wrapped tightly and securely in each other’s arms. The gentle rays of the sun fell on them and warmed them up. The two had a few days off from Hero work so they had the liberty to just stay in bed and doze for as long as they wanted.   
However, that day, it wasn’t to be so.  
The two were awoken by the ringtone of Kotetsu’s phone. In a sleepy daze he reached out for it and, without even checking the name of the caller, he pressed answer and placed the phone next to his ear.   
‘… ‘Ello?’  
His brother’s voice could be heard from the speaker and the words he uttered broke Kotetsu’s sleepy spell and he sat up straight.   
‘… What?’  
Barnaby, who was trying to go back to sleep, was alerted by the sound of his lover’s voice. It was soft, trembling and weak but held a sense of emergency. He turned to look at the other man. His heart clenched looking at the love of his life making that kind of expression.   
His face was pale, his eyes wide. His whole body trembled and had broken out into a cold sweat, despite the warm morning. Barnaby quickly went to grab Kotetsu’s hand, letting him know that, no matter what, he was by his side. Kotetsu, in turn, clutched his hand. Barnaby winced at the strength. He could see his lover’s knuckles turn white.   
Barnaby could vaguely hear some more sounds from the phone before the click of a call disconnecting was heard. Kotetsu’s hand dropped to the bed and he slumped forward. Barnaby quickly took a hold of his shoulders and tried to speak to him. Get any response from him.   
Finally, Kotetsu spoke. Hearing his words, Barnaby’s blood ran cold.   
‘Kaede disappeared.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoy this chapter!

‘What— What do you mean she disappeared?!’, Barnaby asked in a state of panic.   
‘… Yesterday… after she returned to Oriental Town… she told mom and aniki about our… relationship. They both… they tried to talk to her… tried to convince her that me being in love with you… doesn’t mean that… I don’t love Tomoe as much as I used to. Things… got a little out of hand. She went back to her room… Didn’t come out for the rest of the night… When aniki went there this morning to call her for breakfast… she was gone… there was a note that said that… she needs some time… alone… It’s all my fault…’ Kotetsu answered, his voice shaking.  
‘Kotetsu-san!’ Barnaby grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug. ‘It’ll be fine!’, he said. He felt his lover trembling in his arms and tightened his grip around his body.  
‘We’ll find her!’, he said, trying to make his words as convincing as possible. He didn’t know whether or not they could actually find her but at that moment, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he had to calm Kotetsu down. He couldn’t stand to see him in such a state.  
Suddenly, Kotetsu shot up straight. He was mumbling something repeatedly.  
‘Got to get to Oriental Town. Got to find her.’  
He eased himself out of his lover’s arms and got up, walking out of the room. Just as Barnaby was about to follow, his phone went off. Seeing that the caller was Agnes, and worrying that it was some kind of emergency, he picked it up.  
As it turned out, there was no emergency. Agnes had called to inform both him and Kotetsu of a special documentary on their relationship which she was planning on having shot after their time off. The two were planning on revealing the fact that they were together to the public soon. She wanted to follow it up with the documentary.  
Barnaby tried to reply as calmly and normally as possible. He could hear Kotetsu rushing around to look decent enough to leave the house. At least he knew that if he had run out of the house immediately in his panic, he would not have been of any help as he’d just have been dragged of by the cops on account of public nudity.  
His voice probably gave something away as Agnes asked him what was wrong. After much probing, he finally decided to inform Agnes about the situation. The whole time, the woman did not utter a single word.  
Once he was done, she finally spoke. ‘Take the “Hero TV” chopper’, she said.  
‘Eh?’  
‘We owe Kaede-chan a lot for what she did during the Maverick incident. This is the least we can do for her.’  
Barnaby felt choked up. ‘Thank you’, he uttered, ‘Kotetsu-san would be really grateful.’  
_‘And I will be too…’_  
He was, in general, quite fond of children but Kaede was different. She was  _Kotetsu’s_  daughter. All that he wanted was to be accepted into the family by her.  
Kotetsu’s brother and mother knew of their relationship and accepted him but he knew that it would be much more difficult for Kaede as she will have to accept a new parent. He could never have known that things would come to this though.  
Kotetsu was informed of the plan and, within an hour, the two found themselves in Oriental Town. Muramasa was there waiting for them and quickly started talking the moment they came out.  
‘Last night, at around ten, we had had the discussion regarding your and Barnaby’s relationship. By then, the shops were already closed so she couldn’t have visited the old lady from the candy shop who has the Warp ability. And as much as we know, she’s the only one who has that ability here. Moreover, she used Hundred Power in her anger after returning so, most likely, she still has that ability. So chances are, she’s still in the area.’  
‘In the area, you say…’, Barnaby started, ‘But it’s still a fairly large area to cover, especially with these mountains and forests.’  
‘Aniki, you go search around the town. Bunny and I will take the mountains.’  
It was the first time in a while that Kotetsu had spoken. Both Muramasa and Barnaby agreed to the plan. They split up.  
~*~*~  
‘Kaede! Kaede, can you hear me!’  
‘Kaede-chan! If you can hear us, please answer!’  
The two searched the forest, trying to check every nook and cranny. Light rain had started to fall during their search.  
‘Something similar had happened before…’  
Kotetsu’s sudden voice startled the blonde. He turned to look at the older man.  
‘When I came here the first time after my powers started fading. She had gone to pray at the temple when a storm hit. She took shelter in the temple but was trapped. The temple was destroyed in a landslide but I managed to save her. But this time… what if I can’t save her this time?’  
‘Don’t even think that!’  
Kotetsu jumped at Barnaby’s sudden outburst. He gaped at his partner.  
‘You’ll find her! You found her before, I’m sure you will again!’  
Kotetsu gave a soft smile and mumbled a quiet “Thank you”. He didn’t tell Barnaby that the last time, Kaede had wanted to be found and had called out for him. Using his increased hearing while Hundred Power was active, he had successfully located her.  
This time, she was a runaway. She did not wish to be found. The situation was completely different. But he did not want to worry Barnaby any more. The rain started to come down even harder. The sky lit up with a flash of lightning followed by the deep rumble of thunder. A typhoon was on the way. They needed to hurry.  
‘Let’s split up! We’ll cover more ground that way!’, Kotetsu called out.  
Barnaby was against leaving his partner alone but knew that it was the correct choice. The rain had already made it almost impossible to see clearly. They had no other choice if they wanted to find her soon.  
~*~*~  
Kotetsu ran like his life depended on it. He constantly shouted out his daughter’s name hoping, _praying_ , that she would hear. However, it was all in vain. The ever worsening rain drowned out the sound of his voice. His clothes were soaked and heavy, sticking to his body like a second skin, making it harder than ever to run. His eyes were filled with tears which made it even harder to see. This, coupled together with the heavy rain, was a highly unfavourable situation. He was exhausted but was afraid of using his power as he did not want to be left powerless in case his daughter were to be in any danger.  
He stumbled and fell face first into the ground. Pushing himself up with his arms, he continued to move forward. By this time, tears were freely running down his face, mixing together with the water of the rain. That was when he heard it. A familiar cry, similar to the one he had heard the last time he was searching for Kaede in these very mountains. And this time, he heard it without the use of Hundred Power and over the roaring sound of the rain. She was close.   
_‘But is it real? Or is it just a figment of imagination I created in my desperation?’_  
As if on cue, he heard the cry once again.  
_‘It’s real!’_  
He ran in the direction of the voice.  
‘Dad!’  
The sound was getting louder.  
‘Kaede!’, he called out, ‘Kaede, don’t worry! Papa’s coming!’  
‘Dad! I’m so sorry! What I said was horrible!’  
‘Kaede! It’s okay! I’m not angry anymore!’  
Kotetsu ran. He ran as hard as he could in his exhausted state. Fortunately, he was getting a boost of adrenaline which helped him get over his tiredness.  
‘Dad, I want you to marry Barnaby! I want you to be happy! I want to live together with you and Barnaby as a family!’  
He pushed past a thicket and there she was. She was soaked and her eyes were red rimmed from crying but she was there, alive and well.  
Kotetsu moved slowly towards his daughter, feeling so glad, so incredibly glad, to see her again. He spread his arms out to hug his little girl.  
He could see Kaede struggle to stand up and noticed that she had hurt her leg. Even so, she did her best to move towards her father.  
The distance between them decreased and, just she was about to finally be safe in her father’s arms, she slipped on the muddy ground. She fell back hard. Kotetsu just realised that they were on the edge of a cliff when he heard a rumbling sound and saw Kaede, along with the part of ground she was sitting on, descend from his view.  
‘KAEDE!’


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this story! Please do tell me your thoughts about it!

‘KAEDE!’  
Kotetsu’s body was paralysed as he saw his daughter’s terrified face in front of his eyes.  
Time almost seemed to move in slow motion, as if mocking him. Kaede sinking lower and lower in his sight, slowly, making it seem like he could easily catch her but couldn’t because the cold and the terror and the exhaustion would not allow him to use his muscles. It was like his brain had shut down.  
 _‘Move, dammit!’  
_ Finally, he managed to lift his left leg and put it in front of him. Then he repeated the same action with his right. Quickly, he activated his Hundred Power and leapt at the same time that Kaede disappeared from his view.  
He grabbed her hand and pulled her body close as the two plummeted into the violent waters of the raging river beneath.  
Kotetsu felt a sharp pain and realised that he had hit his head on the way down. But it didn’t matter to him at that moment. All that mattered was that Kaede had to be safe.  
He started swimming in the direction opposite to the flow. It was not easy. The current was strong and he was sure that, were he not using his powers, it would be impossible.  
After what felt like ages, his head reached the surface. Before his nose and mouth could fully emerge out of the water, he pushed Kaede up. He heard Kaede take a deep breath and call out to him in panic.  
‘You’re bleeding!’, she cried.  
Kotetsu finally managed to pull his own face out of the water. His vision was hazy and distorted. He wasn’t sure whether it was because of the lack of oxygen or blood loss. Either way, his main concern was getting his daughter to safety.  
He started swimming towards the shore. He reached his hand out.  
 _‘Nearly there…!’_  
Suddenly, he felt weak. It was as if all the strength had drained from his body. He realised that he had stopped glowing. His power had run out.  
‘Dad!’, Kaede exclaimed as she noticed what was going on. She squeezed her eyes shut and scrunched up her face in concentration. Nothing happened.  
‘No!’, she gasped, ‘It hasn’t been an hour yet! Dad―!’  
She looked at her father only to see him barely conscious. The bleeding was serious, the wound deep. He was exhausted enough as is after running all around the mountain and now his body was giving out. He was struggling to stay conscious but it was a losing battle.  
Kaede tried her best to cover the short distance to the shore but it was in vain. Even with the Hundred Power, Kotetsu had had a tough time swimming against the current. With Kaede’s small body and feeble strength, it was impossible. The water swept them away. The two went underwater again and that was when Kotetsu lost the battle. He lost consciousness and lost his grip on Kaede. The two were forced apart by the powerful flow of the water.  
As she moved further and further away from her father, she felt the effects of oxygen deprivation. She closed her eyes and wondered if they will ever open again.  
~*~*~  
‘… an’  
A vague sound.  
‘… su-san’  
He slowly drifted into consciousness.  
‘Kotetsu-san!’  
Kotetsu jolted awake at the sound of the familiar voice. He turned to the side to find his lover looking at him anxiously while maintaining a tight grip on his hand.  
‘Bu―’  
Before he could finish the nickname, he was overcome by a coughing fit. Barnaby quickly moved to his side and started to gently pat his back.  
‘Don’t push yourself!’, Barnaby exclaimed. Kotetsu’s coughs soon died down.  
‘Wha… What happened’, Kotetsu asked, breathless from the fit.  
‘We found you at the banks downstream two days ago. You got washed away a good distance. You…’, Barnaby swallowed and then continued, his voice shaking, ‘You were in a… pretty bad condition. Your head was bleeding… badly… and your lungs were… filled with water.’  
Barnaby suddenly leaped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Kotetsu, burying his face into the other man’s chest. His shoulders shook and Kotetsu could feel his shirt getting wet.  
‘Things were looking really bad for you!’, the blonde cried out, his voice quivering with emotion. ‘We… We thought that we lost you!’  
Kotetsu immediately felt an urge to hug his lover back. Tell him that he was fine. That everything is “okay”. Anything! As long as the blonde would stop crying. As long as the tears streaming down the handsome face, which Kotetsu loved more than anyone else in the world did, would stop. As long as his shoulders would stop shaking and he would not look so small and weak in the older man’s arms.  
At least… that’s how it should have been.  
But at that moment, that was the least thing on his mind. He did not reach out to comfort Barnaby. He did not say any kind, consoling words.  
‘Where’s Kaede?’, he said instead. He felt the blonde stiffen and dread filled every nook and cranny of his mind.  
‘Where is Kaede?’, he repeated again, slowly.  
‘Kotetsu-san―’, Barnaby started, searching for worlds.  
‘WHERE IS SHE?!’, Kotetsu bellowed. He pushed Barnaby off of him and stood up. The moment he was on his feet, he wobbled. He realised that he had no energy. He started to fall.  
Barnaby, shaken by his lover’s sudden outburst, quickly came back to his senses. He hurriedly reached out for Kotetsu and supported him.  
Kotetsu, however, in his current state of mind, lashed out and struck Barnaby. There was a loud and sharp sound. They both fell to the ground.  
Kotetsu, realising what he had done, reached for Barnaby. ‘Bunny!’, he started, ‘Bunny, I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean to! I don’t know what came over me! I’m sorry! Are you alright?’  
Barnaby, with his cheek bright red, looked up at the worried man. He smiled gently. It was a true smile, not one of the ones meant for the camera. Kotetsu noticed that it also held a hint of sadness.  
‘I’m fine’, Barnaby said. ‘And please don’t worry, this time… I’m not going to run away.’  
He placed a tender hand on Kotetsu’s cheek and looked him in the eye. ‘I wanted to make sure that you’re healthy enough for the news as I was worried that your condition could worsen. Obviously, that was not the right decision.’  
Barnaby stopped talking and took a deep breath. Kotetsu’s felt a heaviness in his chest. Barnaby’s words up till that point was enough to inform Kotetsu of the situation. He spoke before Barnaby could.  
‘She’s dead, isn’t she?’ Barnaby shook his head. ‘We- We don’t know.’ Seeing his partner’s questioning look, he elaborated, ‘We could not find Kaede-chan. We looked around the area where we found you as well as further downstream. Kaede-chan was nowhere to be found. We waited for two days for her to contact us in some manner but there was nothing. At present, we don’t know whether she’s alive, in which case she may be a position where she cannot contact us, or… dead.’  
Kotetsu pressed his lips together in a thin line while Barnaby looked at him anxiously, preparing for the worst. After a heavy shroud of silence had enveloped the room for a few minutes, the Asian opened his mouth.  
‘Sorry Barnaby, but could you… leave me alone… for some time?’  
Barnaby opened his mouth to protest but decided against it. He quietly nodded and left the room. But he didn’t move too far. He stayed next to the door so that he could hear what was going on inside. Before long, he heard faint sounds of sobbing.  
Barnaby fisted his hands and clenched his eyes shut.  
It hurt.  
The feeling of not being able to help the person he loved hurt. But what hurt even more was the thought that he might never be able to see the sweet girl again, the girl who would always get really excited around him, who would badmouth her father but would be ready to fight the world if someone were to hurt him, who risked her own life to save Barnaby, Kotetsu and the other heroes, who gave him the chance to break free from the shackles of his past.  
He felt tears slipping out from the corners of his eyes. Slowly, he slid down to the floor with his back against the wall, small sobs escaping from his own throat.  
~*~*~  
One week later, Kaede Kaburagi was officially announced to be dead.


End file.
